The Big One
by rileydylan25
Summary: Jo and Blair get on each other's nerves - it gets U-G-L-Y


Title: The Big One  
  
Author: rileydylan25  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FOL, it would so rock if I did, but I don't.  
  
Summery: Jo and Blair get under each others skins again. But this fight gets U-G-L-Y  
  
The Big One It all starts at Edna's Edibles. Jo is sitting at the small table reading a book and Blair is dusting. Blair starts humming and you can tell by the look on Jo's face that she is getting really annoyed.  
  
Jo: Shut up Blair, and your dusting the pasta boxes. No one minds a little dust on their pasta.  
  
Blair: You would eat dusty pasta? That just shows how "pig" like you are. And we're supposed to be working, you're just sitting there.  
  
Jo: I have to read this book for college, and don't tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. Believe me, if I didn't have to read this I wouldn't be wasting my time sitting here listening to your off beat voice.  
  
Blair: Why don't you just go read up stairs since you can't stand my voice?  
  
Jo: Because I got here first!  
  
Blair: Well then you're just going to have to live with my "off beat" voice cause I'm not moving either.  
  
Blair starts humming loudly.  
  
Jo: MRS.G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mrs.G: Girls I'm trying to work in the kitchen what is it?  
  
Jo: Mrs. G, Blair is getting on my nerves and I have to finish this book by tomorrow!  
  
Blair: Well then tell her to go to a different room!  
  
Mrs.G: GIRLS!!!!!! I'm very stressed right now because we have to cater the Mayors banquet tomorrow. He sprung it on us at the last minute so could you please either help me or get along!  
  
Jo rolls her eyes and goes upstairs to the bedroom  
  
Two hours later, Jo is laying on her bed.  
  
Jo: I'm finally finished!  
  
Then Natalie comes in and dumps her books on her bed. Natalie looks really frustrated.  
  
Jo: Nat what's wrong?  
  
Natalie: I'll tell you what's wrong! My type writers broke, so I need a lot of money fast, and the nerdiest guy in Eastland asked me out in front of everyone. It was so embarrassing!  
  
Jo: I take it you turned him down.  
  
Natalie: I probably can't show my face at school for the whole rest of the year! I tell you Norman( The nerd) has asked every girl out in a three thousand mile radius!  
  
Jo is silent for a minute and then gives Natalie one of her evil smiles  
  
Jo: Nat, you just gave me an idea to get back at Blair. Nat, I'm going to need your help.  
  
Natalie: No way, I'm not going to help you in your evil scheme, what ever it is.  
  
Jo: Not even for a new typewriter?  
  
Natalie: So you're saying if I help you, you'll buy me a typewriter?  
  
Jo: Yep, so what d'ya say?  
  
Natalie: YES! Ok, so tell me the plan.  
  
Jo: I'm going to set Blair up on a blind date with your little friend Norman.  
  
***  
  
1:30 A.M. Natalie sneaks down stairs. Everyone except Natalie are asleep so that gave Natalie a chance to call Norman and set him up with Blair. Natalie dials the number and waits while it rings.  
  
Norman with a yawn: Hello?  
  
Natalie: Uh, Norman? Hi, it's Natalie. I need a favor.  
  
Norman: Hi Natalie. What do you need?  
  
Natalie: I need you to go out with my friend Blair.  
  
Norman: You mean Blair Warner? The Blair Warner? She is the prettiest girl I've ever seen. And my dad is her Banker, so that gives me the right to boss her around! I wouldn't be doing you the favor, you'd be doing me one! Where should I meet her?  
  
Natalie: Um, how about at that new Italian restaurant and 6:30 on Friday.  
  
Norman: Can't wait!  
  
Natalie hangs up the phone and walks back upstairs.  
  
The next morning Natalie, Jo, Mrs. Garret, and Tootie are eating breakfast. Blair stomps down stairs, she sits down across the table from Jo.  
  
Jo: Did someone not get enough beauty sleep last night? It shows.  
  
Blair: For your information I was up all night tossing and turning worrying about what I am going to buy today at Tiffiany's. They're having a huge sale today. I only have twenty four hours to shop!  
  
Natalie gives Jo a look, Jo nods.  
  
Jo: Blair, I need a favor.  
  
Blair: Go ahead and tell, humor me. I'm probably not going to do it anyway.  
  
Jo: Not even if it's going out with that new French hot guy?  
  
Blair raises her eye brow: You mean the brunette that walked in late to class?  
  
Jo: Thats the one.  
  
Blair: What's his name?  
  
Jo: Norman, he wants you to meet him at that new Italian restaurant at six thirty on Friday.  
  
Blair smiles: I'll be ready!  
  
Blair walks out of the kitchen. After Blair has left, Jo and Nat gave each other a high five  
  
***  
  
On Friday night Blair arrived at the restaurant at six forty five. She walked up to the man at the front of the restaurant.  
  
Blair: I'm here to meet Norman.  
  
The waiter nodded and motioned for her to follow him. Blair did, and was lead to a table near the back of the building. When she got to the table, her face scrunched up in disgust. There sat Norman, in his pink and blue polyester suit and huge thick glasses.  
  
Blair: There must be a mistake, I said Norman, he's tall, muscular, and cute. Not anything like this geek!  
  
Norman: Natalie said that we would meet here and that you wanted to go out with me.  
  
Blair got a really angry look on her face.  
  
Blair: Did she now? Well all of it was a lie!  
  
Blair started to get up but Norman said something to Blair that made her stay.  
  
Norman: My father, your banker, hates it when I'm unhappy. And I'd be really unhappy if you left. So sit right here.  
  
Norman padded the spot next to him. Blair slowly sat down. Then suddenly Jo came running into the restaurant with a camera.  
  
Jo: Say, "I'm humiliated".  
  
Norman put his arm around Blair and then Jo took the picture. Jo ran out of the restaurant as fast as she could. Blair started running after her. By the time Blair got outside, Jo had already driven away on her motorcycle. Blair rushed to her car. She started it up, but that it started acting weird.  
  
Blair: The wheels, they feel inflated?  
  
Blair ran out of her car and saw that Jo had popped the tires.  
  
Blair: JOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*** Jo, Natalie, and Tootie sat in the living room playing cards. Suddenly Blair comes through the door, with a dirty look on her face.  
  
Blair: Jo, you are so dead!  
  
Jo: I got you a date that actually likes you, you should be grateful!  
  
Blair: This means war! I'm going to get you back so bad you'll want to leave town!  
  
Jo: Give me your best shot.  
  
Blair walks upstairs.  
  
Natalie: Aren't you the least bit worried about her getting back at you?  
  
Jo: No, I want to see what she comes up with. Do you got any three's?  
  
***  
  
Beep, beep, beep, the small alarm clock next to Jo's bed rang in her ear. Jo rolled over in bed. She felt something sticky on her cheek. She tried to lift her head, but it was stuck. Then Jo realized that she was stuck to the sheet.  
  
Jo: BLAIR!!! Help Natalie, Tootie? Is anyone in here?  
  
Jo undid the sheets and tried to pull the sheet off of her face but it wouldn't come off. Then Jo noticed nobody else was in the room. Jo turned her head, and saw that the clock read ten twenty three in the morning. Jo had set her alarm clock to eight thirty. Jo had promised Mrs. G that she would help her in the store.  
  
Jo: Great, I'm super glued to my sheets and Mrs. G is going to think I ditched the store. What else could go wrong?  
  
Jo went into the bathroom and screamed when she noticed herself in the mirror. Blair had supposedly dyed Jo's hair blue! Jo ran downstairs and into the store, still with the sheet glued to her cheek. There were several customers shopping when Jo had gotten into the store, including Roy.  
  
Jo: MRS. GARRET!!!!  
  
Mrs. G: Jo, what happened to your hair, and why are you holding your sheet to you face?  
  
Jo: First Blair set my alarm clock to Ten twenty instead of eight thirty, then she super glues my sheet to my face, and finally she dyes my hair blue! Where is she, I'm going to KILL her!  
  
Jo starts for the kitchen to find Blair but Roy stops her.  
  
Roy: Jo, blue isn't your color.  
  
Jo: Stick a sock in it!  
  
Jo stomps into the kitchen and sees Blair putting croissants in the oven. Blair notices Jo and starts laughing.  
  
Jo: Very funny Blair.  
  
Blair: I certainly thought so. Jo, you've learned a very important lesson this morning, never pull a prank on someone who knows where you sleep.  
  
Jo: This isn't over, I'll get you!  
  
Jo starts to walk out of the room.  
  
Blair: By the way, that sheet shouldn't come off for another five hours.  
  
Jo rolls her eyes and walks out of the room.  
  
***  
  
Later that night Blair is sitting on her bed in the bedroom combing her hair. Jo comes out of the bathroom with most of the blue out of her hair and the sheet off her cheek. She gives Blair a nasty look and walks over to her bed, fluffs her pillows, and gets into her bed. Blair glances at Jo with a little smirk on her face.  
  
Blair: Jo, I see you've finally gotten that sheet off of your cheek.  
  
Jo Doesn't say anything, she just lies there staring at the ceiling.  
  
Jo (thinks to her self): I bet Blair thinks she's won me over, well she has another thing coming.  
  
Blair gets up and walks to the bathroom. After Blair has left the room, Jo darts over to the phone. She's starts dialing Roy's phone number. She wait's for someone to pick up, but no one answers. Jo hung up the phone and groans.  
  
***  
  
Roy's lying asleep in his action figure sheets, tossing and turning. Suddenly he hears a loud thump in his room. He slowly opens his eyes and sees Jo standing over his bed.  
  
Roy: Am I dreaming, or do I see Jo Polnieczek standing over my bed?  
  
Jo: Roy, you're not dreaming. I need your help, I tried calling you but no one answered, so I climbed through your window.  
  
Roy: Well, it is one o'clock in the morning, my parents are asleep. Are you a brunette again?  
  
Jo: Yeah, but quit the stupid questions. I need your help getting back at Blair.  
  
Roy: What's in it for me?  
  
Jo: I won't kick you out of the store as much.  
  
Roy: No, you'll be my girlfriend for an entire month, and I can kiss you when ever I want.  
  
Jo: NO!!!  
  
Roy: That's my only offer, take it or leave it.  
  
Jo: How about one week, and hand holding only.  
  
Roy: Nope, one month and kissing when ever I want.  
  
Jo: Ok, but this better be worth it!  
  
Roy: Trust me babe, it'll be worth every prank. Before you go, I want a kiss.  
  
Jo: How about the month start tomorrow?  
  
Roy shakes his head no. Jo leans towards Roy, and quickly pecks him to the lips.  
  
Jo quickly heads to the window and starts to open it.  
  
Jo: Meet me tomorrow at the store to talk about the pranks. By the way, you still live with your parents?  
  
Roy: Sure, what's wrong with that? Oh, and by the way, you'll see your prank on the twelve o'clock news tomorrow.  
  
Jo grins and then climbs out the window.  
  
***  
  
The next day was Sunday. The store opens late on Sundays so gave the girls a little more time to sleep. At eleven o'clock the girls opened the store. At eleven thirty Roy came into the shop.  
  
Roy: Hi my little sausage.  
  
Jo was at the counter helping a customer. Jo gave Roy a questioning look.  
  
Jo: What did you do with "You know what"?  
  
Roy walked behind the counter and whispered something in Jo's ear, Jo laughed.  
  
Jo: That's perfect!  
  
Roy: I'm feeling a kiss...  
  
Jo rolled her eyes and pecked him again on the lips. Tootie from across the room saw it and ran up to Jo.  
  
Tootie: What was that?  
  
Roy: Didn't you hear? We're going out now.  
  
Tootie raises her eyebrow at Roy and pulls Jo to the corner of the store.  
  
Tootie: What is Roy talking about?  
  
Jo: I made a deal with him that if he helps me pull a few pranks on Blair, that I'd be his girlfriend for a month.  
  
Tootie: I've never seen you and Blair fight this bad, going out with Roy would of been the last thing I thought you'd do.  
  
Jo shrugs and heads for the kitchen where Natalie and Blair are baking. Blair and Jo don't look at each other.  
  
Natalie: I can't believe I'm saying this, but this thing has gone on long enough! I mean sure, it's getting pretty dirty but you've got me worried all night that someone is going dye my hair or something!  
  
Jo: Sure.  
  
Blair: You mean you're agreeing with Natalie?  
  
Jo: No, you wish!  
  
Jo walks out of the kitchen and back into the store. About a half an hour later it was time for the news.  
  
Roy: It's time!  
  
Mrs.G: Time? Time for what?  
  
Jo: Blair's on the news!  
  
Everyone including Blair ran into the back of the store and turned on the TV. On came the news woman.  
  
NW: Today we have a very interesting story, it's about Blair Warner. A local college student at Langley college, we have uncovered a few interesting facts from a young man about her.  
  
A picture of Blair at the hair salon came onto the screen.  
  
NW: We have proof that Blair's real hair color isn't blonde, she was originally a brunette. But she got her father too pay at least three hundred dollars to have most of the picture's he took at the salon destroyed. But we found one of them.  
  
Blair: That's a picture of me at the salon getting a hair cut! Jo!!!  
  
NW: We have also caught Blair dating her bankers son, here they are at a little Italian restaurant. Blair has to date this sick minded young man because if she doesn't he threatens to have her lose a lot of money. Lets go to Sarah, she's at the bank right as we speak. Over to you Sarah. The TV shows another reporter standing next to Norman.  
  
Sarah( The reporter): Thanks Pat. So Norman, is this true?  
  
Norman: Yes it is. We've actually been dating for a year, and yesterday we went out and I asked her to marry me. Of course she said yes!  
  
Blair: The little lying weasel!  
  
The picture of Blair and Norman came up on the screen. that Jo had taken at the restaurant.  
  
Blair: I just knew you'd do something like this!  
  
You see the first reporter again.  
  
NW: We also have proof that Blair Warner has been shopping at resale shops....  
  
Blair turns off the TV.  
  
Blair: That was the last straw! I can't believe the lies you said!  
  
Jo: Actually Roy said those things, but I liked them.  
  
Blair gives Jo an angry look and runs upstairs.  
  
Mrs.G: Jo, I'm very disappointed in you and Blair. You'd let a stupid little fight like this get in the way of your friendship? I'm going to go talk to Blair.  
  
Mrs. Garret goes upstairs and finds Blair sitting on her bed.  
  
Blair: Mrs. Garret, that was humiliating!  
  
Mrs.G: I know Blair. Jo shouldn't of done that, but you shouldn't of done those pranks on her either! I mean, if you think about what you're fighting about, it seems very stupid.  
  
Blair: I don't even know what we're fighting about!  
  
Mrs.G : There you go right there! Now, could you and Jo please make up?  
  
Blair nodded, got up and ran downstairs. Jo and the other girls were sitting on the couch, and Roy had left.  
  
Blair: Jo, I'm sorry I played those pranks on you, but you weren't a perfect angel to me either.  
  
Jo: Sorry too, I guess. And I shouldn't of made Roy go so hard on you.  
  
Blair: Roy?  
  
Jo: I made a deal with him that if he helped me play a couple of pranks on you, that I'd date him for a month! I didn't even know what he did before I saw it on the news.  
  
Blair: So this was all Roy's thing on the news? I'm going to kill him! But before I do, are we still friends?  
  
Jo: You can bet your life on it!  
  
Blair and Jo hug and then look at each other.  
  
Blair and Jo: Let's go get him!!!  
  
THE END 


End file.
